Saw this on Facebook. It annoyed me, so I fixed it.
at my wedding, I want 9 people dressed up as the members of the fellowship of the ring to attend and halfway through the vows they stand up and start arguing until the one dressed up as Frodo shouts “I will do it, I will take the ring to the bride!”
then it just falls silent as he slowly brings me the Ring of Power
Bonus if it’s actually Elijah Wood. And the rest of the LOTR cast. And if I’m marrying ‘Smaug’.
No, it’s fine. I didn’t need my heart.
Are we crying about a doodle of dinosaurs?
Welcome to Tumblr
Oh god it hurts why would you ever
The meteor was coming.
Oh, God, it was coming and she didn’t know what to do. Her son, her beautiful little son, pressed close to her side, craning his neck to look up at his Mother.
“Mummy, why is everyone moving? There’s plenty of food here.” He asked in his sweet, innocent voice.
“Because, my sweet, sometimes it is best that we move on. It is our way.” She replied, forcing the words past the lump in her throat.
“Oh,” Her son said, turning his gaze to the fiery rock in the sky that would spell their deaths out for them, “the old Triceratops told me it was cuzza that rock. He said the rock could hurt us real bad.” He continued, not understanding what he meant by those words in his innocence.
“Triceratops is being silly, he just wanted to tease you one more time before he left.” She lied, choking on her tears. Oh, God, he son, her lovely son, was going to die not understanding.
She turned her face to the meteor- it was close now. It wouldn’t be long. Swinging her head around, she dropped her face to her sons and nuzzled him one last time. “Let’s play a game, yes? And then we’ll go join the others.” She suggested.
“Okay! What game shall we play, Mummy?”
“Let’s play pretend. We will imagine the sort of place we would like to move to, and when we open our eyes, that’s where we shall be.”
“How do we play?”
One last look at the meteor- it was almost time.
“Close your eyes and imagine the place, and count to thirty out loud. Just like when we play Hide-and-Seek.” She curled herself around her son, both of them now laid on the beach.
“Ok, Mummy. 1, 2, 3, 4…”
She watched the meteor approach with sad eyes, and just before it hit land she turned her head, laying it and her neck over her son and bracing herself.
Her son had not yet said 30, but it was over.
what the fuck is wrong with you
WOW HOLY FUCK THANKS FOR SHITTING ALL OVER MY HEART
Wow what the fuck. I didn’t need this.
“Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?” asked Scrimgeour.
“No, I’m not,” retorted Hermione. “I’m hoping to do some good in the world”
Happy 35th Birthday, Hermione Jean Granger! (September 19th, 1979)
Ready for April fools day
Gonna take it to school and eat it
I ate 3/4 of the jar and I made 3 teachers gag and one friend get angry at me.
fuck bro, I thought you were gunna fill all those cups with mayonnaise and hand them out at school and some serious shit was gunna go down